i’m so straight i refuse to turn on curves. its been days and i’m running out of gas. i wish i could get home
just go in reverse….
i’m not gay i don’t put it in the rear
Oh my god my heart actually exploded from this happiness.
Omg the last gif it waved back omg
So many people always seem to forget just how intelligent elephants are.
the elephant drew the other elephant.
THE ELEPHANT ACTUALLY DREW THE OTHER MOTHERFREAKIN ELEPHANT
i could go into the kitchen and make soup right now. i could chop up a whole onion and put it in there and nobody could stop me. i could put cereal in it. i could dump the whole bowl onto the floor and roll around in it naked while barbie girl plays and then order ten of those 7 foot long gummy snakes online and nobody could do a goddamned thing. being an adult is terrifying
this is too much power for one person to have
what if there were professional text post critics
Witty and insightful. A must-reblog post. Suspense from lack of punctuation and resolution leaves the reader pondering possibilities late into the night.
so my family plays this game where if someone is holding something and you yell “drop the bass” they have to drop what they’re holding so my mom was holding a carton of eggs so i yelled it and she looked me dead in the eye, dropped then eggs on the floor and whispered “you’ve gone too far”
People with uteruses will get about 500 periods in their lifetime. Meaning that you’ll be on your period for a total of around 1200 days. With a loss of about 1440 ounces of blood. Which is approximately how much blood there is in 9 adult human bodies. That, my friend, is some very badass stuff.
Can we say how much we adore that this says ‘people with utereruses’ instead of women.
Amazon Prime Air is a delivery system Amazon Inc. plans to implement into their service by the year 2015. Small packages purchased through Amazon.com will be shipped to the buyer via air drone in as little as 30 minutes.
i cant wait to fuck it
reblogable by request~ anon
this had ten notes yesterday.
Reblogging for “GET IN YOUR KANGAROOS AND HIDE THE BOOMERANGS”
wait… something’s not right
OH MY GOD NOT THE PANTS TOO
HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE THEY ARE COMING
I swear to fucking god everyone on this whole website is high
What if colleges only made you pay the percentage of tuition that you failed, so if you got an average of 86 for the year you’d only have to pay 14% of the tuition, but if you got a 94 then it’d only be 6%. That way we’d be rewarding the success and even if you flunked the semester, you still wouldn’t have to pay for ALL of the tuition
You are the future.
whenever i have those brutal searing being-dissolved-from-inside period cramps during school or work i pretend i am a viking warlord who has been stabbed in the abdomen but i killed the assailant so i’m the only one who knows im injured and i have to carry on normally til the end of the battle to keep up my mens morale
this is good
Gonna adopt this method of dealing
everybody wants morgan freeman to narrate their life but I want five sassy singing lady muses
I want Morgan Freeman to narrate most of it and the five sassy singing lady muses to step in and perform catchy yet narratively sound musical numbers when it gets too serious
Can we just talk about how great of an influence this is on young girls though? Each and every one of these ladies is drop dead gorgeous and each have different body types. I love this.